No, I don't mean physical carrots, like the ones you put in your salad or feed to your pet rabbit, although I do hate those carrots as well. No, I'm talking about the proverbial carrot; the carrot on a stick. The one called the Perfect Woman (..almost). Well, she's back on the singles scene, and I'm already following the carrot. AND I HATE IT! It's not that I hate her for it, or anything like that. I don't think that I could ever hate her. It's that I could see it coming a mile away, and yet I still walk right into it like a moth to the flame.

We've gone out for lunch a few times now. This past week, we also went out for dinner and a movie. Between the time we make the plans and the time I actually see her, I get extremely nervous (more on that later...maybe). But the minute I see her, there's not one little iota of nervousness on my part. When I see her, everything's right.

She and I get along amazingly well together. We like the same things, we dislike the same things, we laugh at the same things, we playfully tease each other (and we both laugh about it), we tell each other things we'd never tell anyone, all that stuff. We even have the same feeling when it comes to marriage and children. Due in no small part to my shyness, we didn't really talk all that much when we were working at the same company, so I suspect that past knowledge of each other has nothing to do with it. It's a connection, I'm sure of it. "Chemistry" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

Of course, if all was well, I probably wouldn't be posting this. I'd at least wait until the engagement announcement. But, of course, I AM posting this. What's that, you say? "Something must be amiss"? Well, you're right. Something is.

Since she did just get out of a 2 year relationship (for the 2nd time - this time I'm 99.5% certain it's permanent), she's not in any great hurry to jump into another one. I can understand that - I've been there before. Like me, she's not much of a casual dater, so I don't think I'll be the Comeback Kid. What I can't tell is whether she just needs time to rebound or if I'm permanently "friendzoned". On the one side, she's never made any moves to get away from me (our 1 hour lunches usually last 2-2.5hrs), she asks plenty of questions to get me talking about myself, and through her actions and comments, I'm almost certain there is that ever-lovable sexual tension. On the other hand, she sometimes asks why I don't have a girlfriend (and then suggests ways to go finding one - online, bars, etc.), the nights always end on a "friendly" note, and, as I recently discovered, she has a lucky "1st date" shirt that I have yet to see.

Is it still too recent? From my standpoint, it feels like it's been forever, but going back over her emails, it hasn't even been a month yet (wow!). Or am I just a friend? I dunno.

I hope I get to be more than a friend to her. I can't say right now that I love her, as I don't know her that well yet. But I am crazy about her; that much is certain. Barring any major psychological flaws (serial arsonist, political aspirations, etc.), this one could really be a keeper. Who knows? She may even be The One. I just hope that, some day, she'll think the same thing about me. We'll see.

Any comments/opinions are certainly welcome.

Yes, one day I'll probably let her read all of this. But not today.